Reading Culture Clash by Karen Rudin

Returning books to my local library (Michael Connelly! William Boyd!) and picking up new ones (Michael Ondaatje! Alice Hoffman!) I overheard a conversation between the librarian and another patron. “May I bring in books at anytime for the second-hand sale?” inquired the other book-lover. “Anytime, ” the librarian assured her, “but they must be in good condition.” Of course, I thought, no missing pages, reasonably intact cover, no signs of having been dunked in the bath or a puddle of cocoa. But the librarian was continuing, “The edges of the pages should not be yellowed, or people won’t buy them.”

Never in my life have I even noticed whether the page edges were yellow, white or pink and green striped. I’m not reading the edges. Not for the first time, I thought how different is the leisure reading culture in different societies.

Brits and Amis scarf books. The food for the brain and the spirit is important; the vessel in which it is served up is not. New or used, pristine or a trifle tattered, it’s all the same to us. Our books make the rounds of friends’ mailboxes, are schlepped onto the train and gently steamed in the bath; they acquire the marks of loving handling. We snap them up at sales, loan them out to our social circle. Even the small-town library enjoys the same opening hours as the grocery store and the gas station. Book clubs and reading circles abound.

Compare this with the approach to reading of a Dutch friend. There are no dog-eared paperbacks lying about on her coffee table. But when a philosopher appearing on television impressed her, she went to the bookstore and bought one of his books, in the original German. Hardback, full price. She read it with absorption, then placed it reverently on her bookshelf with a few other such treasures, some also in German, some in Dutch, some in English.

And here is the other side of the reading culture clash: do we Anglos check out media in German? Do we read Durrenmatt, Hesse, Luise Rinser and Martin Suter at all – never mind in the original? Rather few of us, I fear. Something about our way of life makes us cling to the language and literature of our homelands. Something about European society, by contrast, opens its citizens not only to the cultures but also the language across the English Channel, the Atlantic Ocean and in the antipodes.

An article appearing in a Zurich newspaper a few years ago mused on just this topic. The author opined that English language literature weaves the most profound life lessons into the good read and the whodunit, whereas German-language literature, for example, is either serious and heavy, on the one hand or just for fun, on the other. The two seldom mix. Perhaps this is why so many of the titles on the German and Swiss best-seller lists are translations from the English. Perhaps it is why my local library features a bookcase and a half of English-language paperbacks. It’s not only we Anglo expats who read them; they are popular among the Swiss as well.

For an Ami living in Switzerland this makes for stimulating contemplation, and I muse about it from time to time as I go about my expat life. But now I must do a resorting of the paperbacks I plan to take to the library sale. I’m afraid a great many of them have yellow page edges, alas.

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Petals in the Window by Debra Danz

Dear Diary,

Something wonderful happened today! I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful long stem roses staring back at me. They must have stood on my dresser all night long just watching me sleep. I don’t know how they crept into my room or why I didn’t smell them. I can usually detect the scent of my favorite flowers. Funny thing about roses – they can smell so sweet at a wedding, yet so rotted at a funeral. Who gets to decide the fate of a rose? I can only imagine what a difficult decision it must be for a florist. “Rose number one, you’re going in the wedding bouquet; rose number two, you jump in the Mother’s Day bunch and head for the nursing home; rose number three, you’re already a few days old, you get you’re thorns cut off and sit in the shop window hoping for someone to buy you. Rose number two I’m not taking any back talk from you. It’s your mission in life to make someone smile and you better look pretty damn good doing it too!”

Roses can be so alluring; their velvety red skin is an invitation to pick just one petal off that tight huddled cluster. While the long green stems assist in supporting the fragile creatures, the thorns act as a protective shield. Stem and thorn, support and shield; much like parents. I was an over protective parent ¬– heavy on the shield, lacking in the support. Children survive one way or another and when they don’t need you anymore they remove your shield, leaving your lonely petals to decay and your defenseless stem to wither.

Dear Diary,

My beautiful roses are beginning to bloom, I’m so happy for them! Roses at the peak of life; their heads held high like tall ballerinas standing center stage, wanting to be admired, waiting for the performance to begin – how exiting! Anybody would be proud to stand by them. Who wouldn’t enjoy their natural and delicate aroma? There isn’t a person in the world that would consider it a burden to change their water and maybe even sing to them. I wonder why they were chosen to sit here with me in this tiny room where pictures and old memorabilia occupy every inch of available space? They add grace to my dresser, refurbishing it with elegance. A morning beam of light from the window behind the dresser adorns them with a seductive glow. I wish I could get closer to them, if only to run my index finger in circles of pirouettes around the top of their soft pedals.

Dear Diary,

Those roses are beginning to brown around the edges; their dainty heads are hanging in shame and their guillotined look is starting to scare me. A few of the petals have already given up and lie at the foot of the vase wondering why they fell so hard. It must have been too painful and monotonous for those poor little pedals to stand perfectly still while the rest of the world was moving on. It could be that they just got old and confused; they probably wanted to get back to the safety of their nurturing cluster but forgot the way. They‘re fallen and lost with no one to guide them; no one can, because you can’t fix a rose. At best you can preserve it, striping away it’s last shred of dignity, giving it false hope. Some of the leaves have decided to drown themselves; contributing to the stench of that green, mucky water – no hope for them. Now all that muckiness mixed with dead leaves will circle and finally clog the drain when Nurse changes the water; she shouldn’t even bother. What’s the point of clogging? Maybe they should just sit in the vase rotting and reflecting. The rose petals will follow, circling and clogging. The roses will get discarded in a final battement, stems bent in a disgraceful demi plié, with or without thorns in arabesque. The performance will never be completed; there will be no applause to drown out their defenseless cries.

“Nurse, don’t forget to change the rose water, my room is starting to smell but I can’t quite figure out what it smells like. On second thought, don’t inconvenience yourself; that strong smell of decay is starting to become familiar. Did I ever call my daughter to thank her for the lovely roses she sent, I can’t remember? My daughter is a florist, a very good one. Did I ever mention that? I can’t seem to find her phone number; I have trouble finding most things these days. Nurse… Nurse, what did you say your name is again? It’s so nice of you to help me. Now, can you please wheel me over to the dresser by the window? I would like to say goodbye to some very dear friends.”

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Twelve Questions for Monsters by Debra Danz

Five o’clock in the morning is a ridiculous hour for my alarm clock to go off, but it does and I unwillingly obey the command, swearing to get a new ringtone sometime soon! Thankfully there are only six steps from my bed to the bathroom. I swing my legs over the side of the bed shocking my feet on the cold wood floor. The creaking floorboards reveal more than one set of footsteps. I wonder if that means I’ll get to the bathroom in half the time, or in twice the time.

“Oh, it’s you again! Gertrude, why do you keep following me around? It’s getting crowded in here and you don’t even pay rent. You did take up a selfish amount of space on my pillow last night and thanks for all the nightmares; I haven’t had fun like that since I saw The Exorcist.” Gertie’s overlapping eyelids seemed to blink but who could tell with all that extra fatty, floppy skin practically weighing them down without her even having to use a muscle.

“Gertrude, what makes you think you can play with me in my private Playground? Be careful, I might bury you in the sandbox.” A smile crept over Gertie’s sore and blistered lips but not a word was uttered from them; it was just to let me know that she had full intention of taking me up on my dare.

“Tell me something Gertrude; do you fall asleep at night counting sheep or the wrinkles on your face? Maybe I can iron them out for you, after all it’s just one of the joys of being a housewife.” At that point Gertie lifted her ten stubby fingers to her face and stretched her whiter than white skin as far back as it would go giving her that, ‘geisha gone wrong’ look.

“Just how many silicon bandages does it take to hide scares like that Gertrude? I have a few scares of my own and I use to be able to hide them better until you showed up in my life; now I’m not sure I have enough liquid foundation, as a matter of fact, I’m not sure I have a foundation at all.”

“Should monsters wear makeup? I mean there really isn’t any point, besides I don’t think Cover Girl can produce enough concealer. If you think you can get rid of that sticky green glow by lining with liner and puffing with powder, you’re only fooling yourself. While we’re on the subject I’ll thank you to stop playing with MY makeup, it doesn’t flatter you at all. “ As I lifted the brush to my hair I noticed Gertie trying to imitate me by wrapping her oversized knuckles around a pretend brush. She tried to brush that frizz with vigorous downward strokes, which made her look like she spent the day cleaning electric sockets.

“I know you’re not a thief Gertrude but I simply have to ask, did you smoke some of my cigarettes? I couldn’t have possibly smoked that much yesterday even if I did spend three hours filling out tax forms.” Gertie moved her head in a confrontational upward position exposing the ever-growing waddle under her chin. The answer was clear; at least to me it was.

“After I finish up in the bathroom I’ll get you a big cup of coffee Gertrude, will that stop your morning grunts and groans? Even I could do a better job of making scary morning noises. You need a more intense ‘GRRRRR’ and it has to come from the back of the throat like you’re speaking Swiss German or something.” Gertie let out a gurgle that sounded like a toilet bowl was about to explode. “That was a pretty decent ‘GRRRRR’, I think I’ll call you gurgling Gertie from now on.”

“I was wondering if you come from a long line of monster heritage, was your mother a monster too? Because sometimes life takes you in freakish directions and you become, well you become a monster. Traditional monsters eat children and vomit up bankers, I don’t think you have it in you to be that scornful but you still send a chill down my spine.” Gertie’s blood-shot eyes shifted from side to side as if she has a nervous disorder; that’s when I knew I hit a chord, a very deep one.

“Is that a big old monster tear I see rolling down your cheek? Gertrude you’re pathetic, a regular savage wretch is what you are!” Tears the size of hail balls fell from Gertie’s cheeks hitting the tile floor with an impact that was deafening.

“Did I come down too hard on you? I’m not a monster like you but I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. I’ll make it up to you by baking some chocolate cookies, although if you give a monster a cookie…well you know the rest, you read the book.” From the corner of my eye I could have sworn I saw Gertie’s lips mimic the word ‘BITCH’; a murmur of it was still hanging in the air.

“So Gertrude, should we call it a truce? We’re practically compelled to if we’re gonna sleep on the same pillow and fix our faces in the same bathroom, not to mention sharing coffee, cookies and cigarettes. I guess knowing that you’re always there watching, criticizing, correcting, waiting to pounce; makes me feel a tiny bit nervous because it forces me to focus even when I’d rather be blurry.”

“How do we resolve this Gertrude? Maybe we can give each other more time and space. Maybe we should stop pointing fingers and become more positive playmates. Or maybe, just maybe, I should step away form this bathroom mirror.” With that Gertie and I raised our heads in unison, our eyes met, and one of us disappeared.

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